*Disclaimer: The information provided is not professional medical advice. I am not a diagnostic medical professional, nor am I your diagnostic medical professional. This email is for informational purposes only. Seek the advice of a diagnostic medical professional for all medical matters.
As our parents age, many of us face the difficult decision of whether or not to move them into our homes. This is a decision that should not be taken lightly, as it can have a significant impact on both your life and theirs. There are a number of factors to consider when deciding whether it’s time to move your parents into your home. In this blog post, we’ll discuss some of the signs that it might be time to make the move, as well as some tips for making the transition as smooth as possible.
As you read the list below, keep in touch with your personal feelings. If possible, separate fact from emotion initially. Then dive deep into the emotional aspects of combining households. Moving parents into your home will cause changes on many levels – emotional, financial, time, etc. Carefully consider each item in relation to your situation.
Consider getting advice from trusted advisors such as physicians, the local council on aging, or family attorneys. They may have ideas and suggestions that can make your plan smoother and easier for everyone.
5 Signs That It’s Time To Move Your Parents Into Your Home
1. Declining health: If your parents are experiencing declining health, it may be time to consider moving them into your home. This can include chronic conditions such as heart disease or diabetes, as well as mobility issues that make it difficult for them to navigate their home.
2. Memory loss: If your parents are experiencing memory loss, it may be difficult for them to live independently. This can include forgetting to take medication, getting lost while out running errands, or forgetting to turn off the stove.
3. Isolation and loneliness: If your parents are feeling isolated and lonely, it may be time to consider moving them into your home. This can be especially true if they have recently lost a spouse or close friend, or if they are no longer able to socialize as easily as they once did.
4. Financial concerns: Moving them into your home may be a good solution if your parents are struggling financially. This can include issues such as a fixed income or mounting medical bills.
5. Safety concerns: If your parents are living in an unsafe environment, such as a high-crime area or a home that is in disrepair, it may be time to consider moving them into your home.
Let’s discuss this list in more detail and how it affects you.
Physical and Mental Health Concerns
Are health concerns the driving reason for considering having your parents move into your home? Health concerns require serious consideration. Identify exactly what your parents’ health requires.
Is it nursing care? Do they need help remembering to take medication? Is nutritious meal preparation needed?
Are you capable and willing to provide what your parents need? What level of commitment would you make in time, presence, and healthcare? Who will fill in for you if you go out of town? Are you comfortable providing nursing care? Or will a home health provider be necessary?
Think about a day in the life of your parents. Will they be able to function on their own in your home while you’re at work? Will they need home healthcare visits? Do they need a companion to stay with them during the day?
A joint conversation with your parents and their healthcare provider can incorporate both your parents’ needs and a health provider’s perspective. Combine both to get the best result.
Financial Concerns
Finances can be deeply personal and emotional. When I was growing up, NO ONE discussed how much money they made. It simply wasn’t done.
However, if your parents are moving in, you MUST have a frank conversation about finances. As much as you love your parents, don’t allow their finances to ruin your financial future.
It may be helpful to create a spreadsheet with your parent’s assets, income, and cash outflow. This is a great reference tool. It’s also a good idea to take it to an attorney who can advise you on the best way to coordinate and protect both your and your parent’s finances. An attorney can also make suggestions on how to handle money for (soon-to-be) mutual expenses.
Get all aspects of finances out in the open. Clearly write down what each party is responsible for paying. It’s best to do this before a move occurs. Anger and resentment over money have caused deep rifts in families. Preplanning and creating an agreement before a move can maintain peace in relationships.
Safety Concerns
Safety could mean physical adjustments to your home.
Questions to ask yourself: What about accessibility? Should handrails be installed in your home? Are steps into the home navigable? Should door alarms need be installed? How can your loved one bathe safely?
Make a list of items that need to be completed to make your home safer for your loved one. Price the changes and create a timeline for completion. Not all items will need to be done before a move.
If you’re afraid you’re missing something, your local Council on Aging may have a social worker or nurse who can come do a home assessment and make recommendations. Some agencies will provide home access equipment and medical devices for free or at a nominal cost. Contact them to make arrangements.
Think about medical safety.
Who will make sure medication is taken at the correct time of day? Where can medication be stored safely away from children and pets? Who will provide transportation in the event of an urgent or emergent event? Do one or more parents need home health care or a companion while family members are at school or work?
Make a plan before the move to protect your parents, family members, and pets.
Create a list of emergency numbers and share them with family members. Seconds count in an emergency. Consider a medical alert system so your loved one can connect with help at the touch of a button.
Have serious, deep conversations about moving parents into your home. Agreement on expectations BEFORE a move will make everything easier AFTER the move.
How to Plan Moving Parents Into Your Home
List all physical and practical barriers to a successful move. Create a plan to conquer each one.
It can be heartbreaking for people to discard cherished possessions. Chances are that space will be limited when combining multiple households. Whittling down the number of items to move can be a deeply emotional time. A little empathy goes a long way to ease emotional burdens.
Physically moving is hard and potentially dangerous to those with precarious health.
Use these tips to lighten the load to be moved. Create an organized plan so everything is ready to go by moving day.
Discard, sell, or donate
Eliminate items that are not needed or will be duplicated in the combined household. If the item holds fond memories, take a photo of it first – keep the memories, not the stuff. Do as Marie Kondo recommends – thank the items for their service then let them go.
Storage unit
I mention this with caution. I know several people who pay hundreds of dollars a month for a storage unit they haven’t been in for years. They don’t NEED anything they put in the storage unit but simply cannot part with the items stored. Think long and hard about the cost/benefit ratio.
Hire a professional organizer
Moving is an emotional event. Using a professional organizer to help pare down possessions before a move can be a lifesaver. Professional organizers can put a practical focus on an emotional situation. Taking emotion out of the equation can make moving easier to navigate.
Hire professional movers
Make no mistake, moves are physical, hard labor. Hiring professional movers is a good idea. They can do everything from packing through the final setup at the new location. Choose movers who are insured.
Get a quote ahead of time for services. Mention any unusual objects to be moved such as a piano or extra vehicle. Also, tell the movers how many stairs are involved and if an elevator is available for use. This will help the movers give the most accurate quote.
If you opt to pack for yourself the packing must be complete before the movers arrive or you will be charged for the extra time they spend waiting for you to finish.
Make the Transition as Smooth as Possible
1. Have an open and honest conversation: Before making the decision to move your parents into your home, it’s important to have an open and honest conversation with them. This can include discussing their concerns and fears, as well as your own expectations and limitations.
2. Make necessary modifications to your home: Depending on your parent’s needs, you may need to make modifications to your home to ensure their safety and comfort. This can include installing grab bars in the bathroom, removing tripping hazards, or even adding a stairlift.
3. Set boundaries: While it’s important to be there for your parents, it’s also important to set boundaries to ensure that you don’t become overwhelmed. This can include setting designated times for visits or ensuring you have time for self-care.
4. Seek outside help: Moving your parents into your home can be a big responsibility, and it’s important to seek outside help when necessary. This can include hiring a caregiver to help with daily tasks or seeking the advice of a social worker or geriatric care manager.
5. Take care of yourself: Finally, it’s important to take care of yourself throughout this process. This can include making sure you have time for hobbies and relaxation and seeking support from friends and family.
Conclusion
Moving your parents into your home can be a difficult decision, but it’s one that many of us will face as our parents age.
If you’re considering this option, it’s important to take the time to assess your parents’ needs and your own limitations, as well as to have an open and honest conversation with them about the decision. With the right preparation and support, however, a smooth transition for both you and your parents is possible.
Wondering how if you have the legal documents you need to support your parents? Download our FREE The Essential Guide to Legal Healthcare Documents for Everybody today.
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